Written January 24, 2011. Titled “Statue” initially, but it coud very well be called “Your Gaze”.
A hardened, cold shell, a false face …
A faint beating heart deep from within.
A protective, restrictive cage, a false taste …
A cry for freedom, release from these sins.
Fear, self, pretend pleasures thicken the “skin” …
Removed from the light, sleepless nightmares begin.
We run in-place, fighting restraints with tight wet eyes …
“Am I moving now?” No. Not a step beyond the cries.
This isn’t who I “really am”, but it’s who I have became …
An imitation of hope, blank faces that all look the same.
Motionless on ashen stone floors – no doors – faint outlines stand …
Shadows attempt to be shadows – soft puppets of still hands.
Aching fingers unable to reach and grasp for what is real …
Chained arms, heavy legs – can statues be real-life, be healed?
What does this face, my face, really look like in the dark?
It’s so dim and thick – I can’t move an inch to make a spark.
In that brokenness, a captive surrender and my soulful plea …
Who am I Lord? I’m searching, I’m screaming! Can You even see?
A Fiery set of eyes fixate on me from above – the ardent heat grows …
“I see you, my son.” Softly I hear. “I love you… and I Know.”
He shows me the light has never been “out”, it is eternally lit.
There can be surrender within – even if we’re unable to kneel, or to sit.
“Break me! Take me!” I beg. Please God… please, wake me …
Move me! Use me! Jesus… You really see me?
I see flames that flicker and dance in Your longing eyes …
You love this colorless form – me? I am Your bride?
Amazed by your gaze – such a passionate flame.
My stiff hand already raised – help me Lord… “You came!”
You don’t even require a step – only a cry for a “start”…
You tell me, “We’ll walk soon, for now – just bathe in my heart.”
“Don’t move, don’t fight this love, My gaze is on YOU… it’s really Me.”
“Don’t think so much, breath in deeply, there’s nothing “to do”… it’s free.”
“I will gently peel and release your layers, taking the pain …
You’re my beloved, my washing, my love is a cleansing soft rain.”
My surface is not only white and now glowing from within …
This once frozen statue has warm, vibrant, alive feeling skin.
I feel at last I can move, I can run, I can see, I can dance!
I shout with joy. I am overwhelmed in love, collapsing in this romance.
You SEE “me” Lord! Releasing me from shadows – moving me into pure light …
Caught up in Your gaze, your perfect sight, my spirit truly takes flight.
Releasing caged breath, I inhale “real air” at last and finally soar …
The once dark room paints a wide-opened crimson-stained door.
I can’t return – won’t return – only glancing at the broken pieces on that floor.
My shadow follows You, shaped by Your radiant eyes – singing, “I want more!”
A new man, a new being – never again alone – forever seen!
“So long statue!”